Dying for Pie: An Alternative Ending
by GendryaCaesar
Summary: Squidward gave Spongebob a pie that was really a bomb, but Spongebob doesn't know it. Thinking Spongebob is going to die, Squidward tells Spongebob how he really feels about him. Spongebob/Squidward slash.


Squidward really didn't want Spongebob to die.

He'd spent the whole day with the sponge, and it had actually been kind of *shudder* fun. And maybe if it had been another day, if Spongebob's fate had been different, maybe Squidward wouldn't have admitted to himself just then that he had a small crush on Spongebob.

Okay, fine, a big one.

Okay, maybe not just a crush! He _loved_ Spongebob. There, he said it. Or, thought it.

"Underwater sunsets sure are beautiful, eh, Squidward?" Spongebob said, and just like that Squidward came back to the present.

"…Yeah," Squidward agreed, dread filling him at what was about to happen. And Spongebob didn't even know, which made it a thousand times worse.

But maybe that was best. Spongebob's death would be quick, painless, unexpected-for Spongebob, anyway.

"Yeah," Spongebob sighed. "This is great. Just the three of us. You, me, and this brick wall you built between us."

"Yeah." Squidward laughed. Despite the situation it had actually been kind of funny when Spongebob said it. Still, it was a nervous laugh.

"Sunsets always remind me of bowls of fruit," Spongebob declared. "What do they make you think of, Squidward?"

An image popped into Squidward's mind of Spongebob running, laughing, and then he exploded. "Explosions," Squidward replied. "I mean, uh, erosions."

"You know," said Spongebob, "if I were to die right now, in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that'd just be okay."

Squidward's eyes filled with tears, and he struggled to keep himself from crying. He would not cry. Squidward Tentacles did _not_ cry. He would be strong, he would get through this. Losing the one he loved.

Easier said than done.

Squidward began to weep, and Spongebob got up and went over to him, putting his hand on Squidward's shoulder. "Don't cry, Squidward," he soothed.

"You-you don't understand," Squidward managed through sobs. "The pie I gave you earlier-it-it was a bomb made to look like a pie. You're going to explode and it's my fault…" He managed to pull himself together enough to tell Spongebob what he needed to know before…it happened. "Spongebob, I have to tell you something. I…I…"

Spongebob rubbed his back gently. "You can tell me, Squiddy," he encouraged. "You can tell me anything."

Squidward swallowed, wiping his eyes. "Spongebob, I have feelings for you."

"Well of course you do," Spongebob said, confused.

"Oh…you knew?" Squidward sniffled. "Was it really that obvious?"

"Huh?" Spongebob blinked. "Well, I mean everyone has feelings for everyone, they don't just feel nothing. I guess…"

"No, Spongebob." Squidward rolled his eyes. "What I'm trying to say is that…is that I love you, Spongebob. More than as a friend. I am in love with you."

Spongebob's eyes widened in realization, and in surprise. "Oh, Squidward, I-" That was all Spongebob could say though before Squidward grabbed him and kissed him on the lips. Spongebob froze in shock before settling into the kiss, whimpering when Squidward's tongue touched his. He wrapped his arms around Squidward's neck and deepened the kiss even more, both of them lost in their kiss.

When Squidward finally pulled back, they were gasping for breath. Spongebob smiled. "I love you too, Squiddy," he said.

Squidward smiled back, and that was when he realized the sun had set and it was dark. "Wait…hold on a second. It's dark…and you're not…dead."

"Um, yeah," said Spongebob, "I don't-"

"The pie, Spongebob!" Squidward said.

"What pie?"

"The one I left on the counter this morning," Squidward explained, "that I bought for twenty five bucks, and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it-that pie!"

"_Oh_, you mean _this_ pie!" Spongebob said, taking out a pie identical to the one Squidward had bought from the pirates. "I was saving it in my pocket!"

Squidward immediately took the pie from Squidward and threw it as hard as he could, and it quickly disappeared from sight. He embraced Spongebob tightly, and Spongebob laughed as he hugged Squidward back.

"You mean the world to me, do you know that, you annoying sponge?" Squidward said when he pulled back.

Spongebob smiled, and Squidward connected their lips in a second kiss.


End file.
